How to Support Someone Who Has Been Scammed

When someone you care about is scammed, your first instinct may be frustration: "How did you not see it?" Please hold that thought. How you respond in the first conversation decides whether they tell you everything, including the parts that could still be fixed, or hide the rest out of shame. Your job is not to judge what happened. It is to help them act quickly and feel safe asking for help next time.

The first conversation

Say this

• "I am really sorry this happened to you."
• "This is not your fault. These people do this for a living."
• "Thank you for telling me. Let us deal with the urgent things together."
• "It happens to all kinds of people, including very careful ones."

Avoid this

• "How could you fall for that?"
• "I told you so."
• "You should have known." Hindsight makes red flags look obvious. At the time they were not.
• Taking their phone or accounts away without asking.

Help with the practical steps

Many people freeze after a scam. Offer to sit with them while they make the calls, rather than doing it for them. Work through these in order:

1. Stop contact with the scammer, and do not send any more money.
2. Call their bank or payment provider on the official number. Our guide on what to tell your bank after a scam has a script they can read.
3. Secure their accounts, starting with email, and remove any remote access software the scammer asked them to install.
4. Save the evidence before blocking: screenshots, numbers and transaction details.
5. Report it to the national fraud service and the platform; see our country-by-country reporting guide.

Our first-hour checklist covers each step in more detail.

When they do not believe it was a scam

This is common with romance, investment and job scams, where the victim has an emotional or financial stake in the story being true. Arguing usually pushes them closer to the scammer. Instead:

• Ask questions rather than making statements: "Have you been able to video call them?" "Can you withdraw a small amount?" "Would a real company ask for a fee?"
• Suggest an independent check: a bank, a lawyer they choose, or an official regulator's register.
• Share general information about the scam type, without making it about them.
• Stay close. Keep the door open so they come back to you when doubts appear.

Protect them from follow-up scams

People who have just lost money are targeted again, often by fake "recovery" agents, lawyers or officials who promise to get the money back for a fee. Explain this gently and agree that any such offer gets checked with you first. Our guide to recovery scams has examples you can show them.

Supporting an older relative

• Respect their independence. Offer help; do not impose it.
• Set up protections together: transaction alerts, lower payment limits, two-step verification, and a trusted contact on their bank account where the bank offers one.
• Agree a simple rule: "If anyone asks for money, codes or remote access, we call each other first."
• Watch for signs of ongoing contact, such as secretive calls, new "friends" online, or unusual withdrawals and gift card purchases.
• Seek professional advice if you have serious concerns about someone's ability to manage their money.

Look after the emotional side

Shame, anger, grief and anxiety are all normal after a scam. Our guide to the emotional impact of being scammed explains why and what helps. If low mood or anxiety lingers, encourage them to talk to a doctor. In the United States, the AARP Fraud Watch Network runs a free helpline on 877-908-3360.

Understanding how scams work helps you both. Share our complete guide on what to do if you have been scammed, which covers the common tricks, warning signs and every step of the response.

Frequently asked questions

Sources

1. What To Do if You Were Scammed, US Federal Trade Commission
2. Fraud Watch Network Helpline, AARP
3. Check if something might be a scam, Citizens Advice