Set Up a Family Code Word Against Impersonation Scams
A family code word is one of the simplest defences against "Hi Mum" messages and cloned-voice calls. How to choose one, share it safely, and use it, including with older relatives.
"Mum, it's me, I lost my phone. Can you send money for a new one?" "Grandpa, I'm in trouble, please don't tell Dad." Impersonation scams work because they hit us where we are most generous: people we love, in trouble, needing help now. Voice cloning makes them even more convincing. A family code word is a simple, free way to check who you are really talking to.
How a code word works
You agree a secret word or phrase with close family. If anyone contacts you claiming to be a family member in an emergency and asks for money, you ask for the code word. A real relative will know it. A scammer, however good their story or cloned voice, will not.
Choosing the word
- Memorable for you: easy to recall under stress.
- Impossible to guess: not a pet's name, birthday, school, street or anything posted online.
- Unusual: an odd phrase or a private joke works better than a common word. For example, "purple teapot" or "Aunt Ruth's goat".
- Not written in your phone: keep it out of chats, notes apps and email.
Sharing it safely
- Agree it in person, or on a call you started to a number you know.
- Keep the circle small: immediate family and anyone who might need to act in an emergency.
- Explain how and when to use it, so everyone knows to ask for it, not just to give it.
- Change it if you think it has been shared or overheard, or after it has been used.
Using it in practice
- Reply: "Of course. What's our word?"
- A scammer will dodge the question, change the subject or push harder.
- Then check anyway: call your child on their old number or contact someone who is with them.
Code words also work for calls. If a voice sounds exactly like your relative but the request is urgent and unusual, ask for the word before doing anything. Our guide on how to spot AI-generated scams explains why voices can no longer be trusted on their own.
A code word is a check, not a guarantee. If something still feels wrong, hang up and call the person back on their usual number. Never move money while under pressure.
Setting it up with older relatives
- Keep it very simple and repeat it occasionally in normal conversation.
- Pair it with a rule: "If anyone asks for money, even if it sounds like us, ask for the word and then call us back."
- Practise once or twice, so asking feels natural rather than rude.
- Reassure them that you will never be offended if they ask for the word.
Other habits that support it
- Call back on the number you know whenever a "new number" appears.
- Be wary of secrecy: "Don't tell Mum" is a classic scam line.
- Limit public details about family members, travel and schools on social media.
- Be careful with payment requests to accounts in someone else's name.
Received a suspicious "family" message? Paste it into CyberWatch AI Scan for a free check, then verify by calling your relative.
A code word is one of many small habits that stop scams. For the rest, read our guide on how to identify and avoid online scams.
Frequently asked questions
What makes a good family code word?
Something easy for your family to remember but impossible to guess from social media: not a pet's name, a birthday or a street. An odd phrase or a shared private joke works well.
What if the caller says they forgot the code word?
Treat it as a warning sign. Hang up and call the person back on their usual number, or contact someone who is with them.
Should businesses use code words too?
Many do something similar, such as call-back procedures and second approvals for payments. A code word is no substitute for those controls, but it can help for urgent requests between colleagues.
Sources
- How To Avoid a Scam, US Federal Trade Commission
- About suspicious messages and scams, WhatsApp Help Center
- Phishing: spot and report scam emails, texts, websites and calls, UK National Cyber Security Centre
